Don’t try to explain your mind
I know what’s happening here
One minute it’s love and suddenly
It’s like a battle-field
One word turns into a
Why is it the smallest things that tear us down
My world’s nothing when you’re gone
I’m not here without a shield
Can’t go back now

“What are you doing?” he sounded irritated.

But then again, that was nothing new these days. He was irritated by everything she did.

“I was just putting your ironed clothes in the cupboard Aakash.” she sighed, how much longer would this go on for?

“I don’t need you to do things for me Payal!” he yelled. “I can do it myself” he shoved her away from the closet, and took his night clothes.

“Aakash…” she started.

“Payal, please, I don’t have time for this right now.” he walked away without even looking at her.

She heard what he didn’t say. I don’t have time for you.

Both hands tied behind my back with nothing
Oh no
These times when we climb so fast to fall again
Why we gotta fall for it now

“Aakash, you did not have breakfast!” she called after him, in vain.

“Oh please Payal! I have more important things to do!” he looked at her and said, “And please don’t act like you care.”

She staggered back, like he physically punched her.

“Aakash, why are you…”

“Don’t payal. I don’t want to talk to you.”

I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don’t even know what we’re fighting for

Why does love always feel like …
a battlefield (battlefield)
a battlefield (battlefield)
a battlefield (battlefield)
Why does love always feel like

“Aakash, we need to talk.” she couldn’t take the hate anymore. She had to explain to him.

“There is nothing to talk about Payal.” he grit out.

“Why are you so angry with me? I know I made a mistake by not telling you, but I only did it for di!” she cried.

“Enough Payal, I don’t want to hear your pathetic explanations!”

“Well, you don’t have a choice Aakash!” she screamed back.

He was shocked to see his usually calm, submissive wife screaming at him.

“You have to listen!” she cried, “We can’t keep doing this! You are angry with me for not telling you, I am okay with that! But you also think this is Khushi’s fault! That she is at fault somehow…she’s not!”

He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could say a word, her Mother-in-law walks into the room.

Can’t swallow our pride,
Neither of us wanna raise that flag
If we can’t surrender
then we both gonna lose what we had, oh no

Both hands tied behind my back with nothing
(nothing)
Oh no, these times when we climb so fast to fall again
I don’t wanna fall for it now

“Stops it, khoon bari taang, who knowz what you are ups to now!” she says, her words as sharp as knives.

“Maaji, It was never our intention to keep the truth from you, You need to understand!” Payal pleaded.

“I do not need to understandz anything. Khoon bari taang, I understoodz you and phati saadi at first glancewa, it’s my sons who didn’t.” Mami scoffed.

Payal looked at Aakash, pleading with her eyes, to say something, to defend her intentions, to keep his promise.

But like it has been for the past few weeks, Nothing.
I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don’t even know what we’re fighting for

Why does love always feel like …
a battlefield (battlefield)
a battlefield (battlefield)
a battlefield (battlefield)

“Aakash, Khushi would never do something like that, you know her…” she tried again, in vain.

“Shuts up, Khoon bari taang, who knows what else you and phati saadi have been plotting against my sonz now!”

Payal just stared at her mother in law for a long moment, how can someone hate another person so much without any reason?

She wouldn’t take this, not anymore. Taunting her was one thing, but accusing her and her sister of plotting against a family she loved, that was below the belt.

“Maaji, this is between Aakash and me, please don’t interfere.”

Her MIL’s eyes went wide, and if payal wasn’t so emotional, she would have laughed at how comical she looked.

“Hello Hi Bye Bye! How darez you khoon bari taang…”

“Maaji, I really do respect you, but THIS is a matter between husband and wife, and i’d appreciate it if you let it be that way.”

“Hello Hi Bye Bye, aakash bitwa, you are gonna lets her talks like that to your mothers?” she cried.

“Payal, how dare you speak…”

“Aakash, like I said I’d like to speak to you, if you think you will be able to spare 10 mins of your life to listen to your wife’s explanation, you know where to find me.” she said and walked away.

I guess you better go and get your armor
(get your armor)
Get your armor (get your armor)
I guess you better go and get your armor
(get your armor)
Get your armor (get your armor)
I guess you better go and get your

She was packing herself a bag, who knows how this would end?, when she heard their room’s door being closed.

“Payal?” he asked, finally getting that soft timber back in his voice. “Why are you packing?”

She couldn’t believe he sounded confused.

“Let’s call it a safety measure…” she turned around and looked him in the eye. “So are you finally ready to hear me out?”

He looked back at her before turning his head away and gave her a stiff nod.

“First of all, if this is going to work, it’s gotta be a two way street aakash.” she urged. “I cannot be the only one holding this relationship together.”

“Then what right did you have to take decisions for our relationship payal?” he asked, the hurt evident in his voice, now that his anger was gone.

Payal sighed, she knew this was coming, but would he understand?

We could pretend that we are friends tonight
And in the morning we’ll wake up and we’ll be alright
Cause baby we don’t have to fight
And I don’t want this love to feel like

“Aakash do you remember how maaji reacted when she found out about my first marriage being broken?” she asked, her voice filled with pain.

“She almost stopped our marriage for that reason alone aakash, and even then I wanted to tell you, but amma made me and Khushi promise that we wouldn’t! She was afraid of my marriage breaking again.”

“Although in hindisight I wish I told everyone the truth, we would’ve been together, if it really was meant to be.” she whispered, a tear sliding down her cheek.

“What about after the marriage payal? Why not then?” he asked.

A battlefield (oh), a battlefield (oh), a battlefield,
Why does love always feel like a battlefield (oh),
A battlefield (oh), a battlefield
I guess you better go and get your armor
I never meant to start a war (start a war)
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don’t even know what we’re fighting for
(fighting, fighting for)

” I was afraid Aakash, I was afraid of being called a liar, I was afraid of being seen as the home wrecker, I was afraid that Khushi would be treated worse than she was, I was afraid that di and nani would start hating me.”

“And I was afraid that maaji would make you break up the marriage.”

“Most of all, I was afraid that you would listen to her.” she chocked on her tears.

Why does love always feel like …
a battlefield (battlefield)
a battlefield (battlefield)
a battlefield (battlefield)

Aakash took her hands into his and tried to comfort her.

“I wouldn’t do that Payal, you know I wouldn’t!” he stressed.

She looked up into his eyes.

“Do I Aakash? Do I know that you would support me?” she emphasized,

“What are you talking about Payal? Of course I would!” he said, offended at being doubted by his wife.

“Your silence all the times maaji taunted me didn’t exactly give me confidence Aakash.” Payal bit back. How dare he say her fears are unfounded?

I guess you better go and get your armor
(get your armor)
Get your armor (get your armor)
I guess you better go and get your armor
(get your armor)
Get your armor (get your armor)

“Payal…” he didn’t know what to say.

He knew she was right, he knew his silence was as bad as him mother’s taunts, but he always comforted himself thinking Payal would have said something if she really was hurt. He assumed she was not paying any heed to his mothers cruel words.

“I thought you would say something if you were hurt…” he trailed off.

It sounded pathetic, even to his own ears.

Why does love always feel like
(whooaa ooow)
Why does love always feel like
(whooaa ooow)
A battlefield, a battlefield..

“How could I aakash? I am the bahu of this house, I haven’t earned the place of a beti yet. No matter how much nani disagrees with maaji, she wouldn’t like me to talk back to her, neither would di.” Payal cried.

“Do you know how trapped I felt at times? How afraid I was that I would never be able to answer back to maaji, and I would have to live the rest of my life in RM afraid that I would never be good enough for her son? And that her son might agree with her?”

“Do you know how much that insecurity hurts Aakash?”

“It makes people do irrational things. It made me do irrational things.” she sighed.

“It was a mistake to hide the truth from you, but I hope you understand why I felt compelled to do so.”

I never meant to start a war
Don’t even know what we’re fighting for
I never meant to start a war
Don’t even know what we’re fighting for
(whooaa ooow)

“Payal…I am sorry…you don’t know how sorry I am for making you feel unimportant, like I didn’t need you.”

He reached out and hugged her, but she resisted.

“I love you Payal, never ever doubt that. I would never let you doubt that.”

She sighed and wrapped her arms around him.

“I love you too Aakash.”

They both knew it would take time to rebuild their relationship, but at least they were finally on the right path.

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5 thoughts on “Payash OS : Unbreaking A Heart

  1. That so touching, I for one couldnt inderstand how he let his mother say what she did yo the girls, nor did he ever correct his mother for her name calling… its nice to see stories about the other two .

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